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Lunch date with SARS

Adebayo axis looks so different I swear. People have been staying indoor and of cos guys are now changing hairstyle. From dreadlocks to lowcut.
Let me tell you about my own encounter with SARS or anything you call them. I was at first bank Adebayo to use the ATM but isshhh people were much there so I decided to enter danke and eat. I noticed one young guy actually entered danke with me but what’s my own? He might be own his own but I noticed is kept looking at me and wawu, I had to just bring my phone out and act like I’m chatting. I stood up, paid and went out…Five minute later, this guy came out again. Lobatan!…He did not kuku talk to me, so ko kan mi. I was wearing my normal Ankara sha. I got to the ATM and got my money..How much sef..2k. Then devil now made one friend to pass by and the idiot too was hailing me, oya boss. Olamide na you dey fresh…am sure your client dey pay…I get iTunes blah blah blah. He said all that in front of the guy that followed me inside Danke. Knowing the things happening, I just change topic and asked about his babe and to make things better. The idiot said all that and left. I was about to get a bike when this guy following me stopped me and before I could even blink my eye, I saw three men dressed in uniform. He asked for my phone and i asked why he needed it? He said you want to argue with me abi, get inside that car…Temi bami. I just smiled and was going to enter but one of them told me to hold on.


The guy following me said, he knows am one of them, I ask one of who? He said Yahoo Yahoo. I said officer I don’t understand what you mean. Yahoo bawo. I gave him my phone and he went through my gallery. He asked, where did you hide it? Hide what? Sir you are seeing it already….That’s all I have and there’s nothing I hide. He then went through my WhatsApp! But as luck would have it, my phone rang and said “picker is calling you. Picker keh on my phone, probably he felt I would be scared. Who called me, it was not even picker! Someone who wanted me to help choose style called me and the stupid officer said picker….So I put the phone in speaker for him to hear our conversation. The caller asked me ” Olamide, how far with the cloth?Have you gotten it?. At that point, Officer was shocked to hear something else..I ended the call! This officer was still bent on it, m a Yahoo guy. He told me to sit down! At that point I was embarrassed! People were there watching to see what would happen.
Fuck!…I hate that look people gave me! One mama that should be at home praying for long life said e wo omo kekere yi!. Awon ni ohun ka pata…E handle e!. I talk back..mama, e ma ba to yin lo! For good two hours, I was with them. While I was there, another set of officers came with two guys they arrested around Jokotayo area and they were gonna take me away with them. That moment, I was dead. All I had with me was psalms 23. I was going to urinate on my body but I held it, i can’t loose now.

Funny enough, one officer came and asked what i did and I said nothing. He said Go. You should know who to arrest Sam…You saw nothing and still held him. Young man stand up and go but don’t do Yahoo!. Me- Thank you sir.
The stupid guy called me back and said I’m sorry for embarrassing you..I kuku know what I can say, I said never mind..You need proper training on your security, he was gonna slap me, mo gbe body mi.. Am glad I did not wear crazy jean that day.

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